I have this fascination for notebooks and pens, I’d buy and pile them up in one corner of my room, barely even using them. Simply looking at them neatly arranged gives me a tingle of happiness. I know some other people has this same quirk but I haven’t asked them of their reasons, I can only tell you mine.
When it comes to writing, I’ve always been quite a “perfectionist”, I set high standards for myself. More often than not, it’s what hinders me from starting at all.
So imagine what I felt when I first stumbled upon the perfect notebook my eyes have ever laid on. It’s definitely not that much, but upon seeing it, I just knew in that instant how it’s a perfect fit for me – style and attitude together.
Guess what? I still haven’t used it since then. I have this gut feeling that I wouldn’t be able to come up with something worthy on the notebook. I don’t have an inferiority complex, I just value it that much.
A few months have passed, a share of rocky roads encountered, and a heartbreak along the way, I’ve forgotten about the notebook… Until I came across another one.
It is the exact same thing, and yes of course I bought it. More than just having a spare of my “perfect” notebook, I think I heard the universe/life/God Himself screaming at me these two words: SECOND CHANCES.
I’ve been afraid of ruining my perfect notebook, reflecting my innermost fear – screwing things up, failing yet again. I’m just so done with that.
But what can I do? It hit me really hard and clear. Everything has reminded me of second chances, even the universe let me take hold of the perfect notebook twice. Who says I can’t fall short of my own expectations and still give it another try?
And so, this blog. Because right now, I think it’s time to give it one more shot.