For the tenth time today, I checked my outfit in the mirror. It just doesn’t look right – does my top need another pressing, or do my shoes go well with my jeans? I go through this dilemma before going to school. Every. Single. Day.
And that’s just the littlest of my worries. You most definitely don’t want to go through my thoughts when I’m flying 30,000 ft above ground, and when I’m answering a “life or death” exam on a finals week. You might brand me crazy and I’ll probably agree with you anyway.
But where do all these overthinking get me? NOWHERE.
Most often than not when it comes to big decisions, it just triggers anxiety attacks – severe headache, heart palpitating, hard time breathing. And yet with all the mental and physical stress, I wasn’t able to change anything – a dark cloud of paranoia still gloom over my head. You might think that I have overcome this by now as I’m writing? Well, I haven’t, thoroughly.
But what I learned after all these episodes of overthinking and anxiety attacks is that though things are and never will be always in my control, they unfold in unimaginable ways possible that makes me forget why I worried in the first place. Not everything goes as plan, but eventually they all turn out
okay, scratch that, it all turns out great. Every time I look back, I’m in a much better place than I was before. I may be a small dot (probably smaller than the littlest visible pixel in your screen) in the universe, but I know that the Author of my path is bigger than all the galaxies out there combined. Just as the stars shine brightly and burn out in their luster, I know that’s the way I’ll go through life – burn out, not rust out.