Nonfiction · Prose

Birthday, Overdue.

I just turned 21.

Fortunately, life taught me fairly well.

And here’s a list of a thing or two.

 

  1. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to let the emotions out even if it doesn’t make sense. It’s okay to crack, snap every once in a while – it means you’re human. Don’t punish yourself for shedding some tears, remember: crying does not necessarily equate to weakness.

Just this week, I have battled against what seemed to be depression (or so I thought, I had panic attacks that included palpitation), it got me feeling negatively as the days progresses. I wasn’t looking forward to my birthday as much as I normally do. Fact: I am such a “birthday person”. Kinda like Lily on How I Met Your Mother.

  1. Not everything will go exactly as you plan it. You can never take control of everything – it has never been and will never be your job. Learn not to focus on your expectations and let reality work its magic.

I would be lying if I say that it didn’t bother me at all – of course, it affected me. This is one of the days I look forward to in the year, and yet as it approaches, it feels gloomier than before. A part of me was hoping, a bigger part preparing myself for what might happen – it may, well, suck.

  1. Having deeply rooted, steadfast faith goes a long, long way. It’s the one thing that can really change everything in an instant – in ways more awesome than you can ever imagine.

Come the day before my actual big day – I attended church with my family (the service was so great, I felt like God’s really poking me with His glorious finger, telling me that all will fall into their right places); had donuts and coffee after the mass (this pretty much is included in the highlight reel of the week); my dad surprising me and asking me if I was free because he’d like to take me shopping with my grandma (and being surprised with the presence of my cousins and aunts over what we call “merienda”). To sum it up, it felt like the gates of Heaven opened up and let its light shine over my darkest clouds.

  1. The way you see yourself isn’t exactly the same as how everybody sees you. Sometimes, they see your potential and worth more than you credit yourself. (It’s better this way and definitely not the other way around)

When the clock struck twelve, I was only expecting a few friends to greet me via texts the exact minute, maybe a single phone call from someone. And that’s exactly what happened (nope, not exactly). I received heartfelt messages from people I wasn’t expecting to even greet me that early. This one guy even had the guts to show up at exactly twelve midnight on our doorstep just to give a present. And yes, the day went on with so much surprises from my friends and family that I could never say enough ‘thank you’s to cover how grateful I am.

  1. There’s always something to be thankful for. As cliché as it may sound, it truly is better to give than to receive.

I knew that somehow I’d get gifts from my parents and relatives (they’re all really generous and thoughtful), but I was surprised to see that the people who are so busy with their lives and school stuff still gave in effort to buy presents and write heart-warming messages. I was so overwhelmed. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I guess, even tears of joy has no place in such a joyful day. I can’t thank God enough. And that’s when it hit me – with every blessing I have ever received this past 21 years, it’s time to do something that will really give back to others. (I don’t want to spoil but a plan is on its way). And I guess, sharing this little thoughts may do someone out there some good (hopefully, even if its passing his time in a worthwhile way).

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12 thoughts on “Birthday, Overdue.

      1. I always tell people, they are there when you are ready for them. I am taking a week or two off from blogging. Have lots of ideas but it felt like I was forcing them as I tried to write, so its time to listen to more music and read more until I’m ready!

        Liked by 1 person

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