Nonfiction · Prose

Caption This

A year has passed since I last written something to express myself – whether I wanted to be heard, or simply for the sake of my sanity alone. I don’t know how I did it – survive the past year. Frankly, I think ‘survive’ is an understatement. After everything that I’ve been through since 2016, I can fairly say that I’ve toughened up and got through victoriously with what life has thrown my way.

You see, in the last post here, I mentioned my cousin being diagnosed with leukemia. But I never got to the point of talking about how it all unfolded right before my eyes, and how it shattered me right to the core when she said goodbye. Kate, if you’re reading this in Heaven, please know that I love you and I miss you so much. So much. You showed and taught me how to be truly brave. I found a new meaning in life because of you. You are always in my heart.

In another light, if you’ve been reading a few posts from this blog. I might have mentioned a few times about being separted from my long term boyfriend. Well, I guess life has its own twists and turns: a part of me has been taken away forever, and yet, the biggest part of me has come back for good.

It doesn’t even stop there. When I started this blog, I was yet just a student juggling her priorities in life but as I write now, I’m not just a graduate of an engineering degree but also am a licensed engineer. It was such an amazing, thrilling, and perplexing undertaking that I can start a whole blog all about it.  

I want to be able to write all about the past year’s adventure. It was one hell of a rollercoaster ride and definitely nothing short of spectacular. But for now, I just want to pat myself in the back for being able to find the courage to go back to writing once again.

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5 thoughts on “Caption This

  1. Sounds like you’ve indeed been on this rollercoaster ride. Congrats on your degree and on your license to be an Engineer. That is an awesome accomplishment especially as most people I know who are engineers tend to me men. So as a woman, I think this is wonderful you have these skills and talents and could use them in your degree, gaining certification, and now in your chosen career. I do have one friend who is a lady engineer and wish you the same continued success she has had.

    Also I’m terribly sorry about Kate dying and having leukaemia. To this I can relate to a certain degree, my friend is probably a bit older than Kate was but not by much. She was 28 1/2 yrs old when she was diagnosed with breast cancer that was stage two, and within the same week it was discovered she had stage 4. My friend is still fighting. Because of her age, no one believed the lump on her breast was anything to be concerned about as at first she was pregnant, than breastfeeding etc. Her own Dr. Didn’t believe her and she went to many others. Finally, a naturopath told her you have cancer and told her to demand the right tests from her Doctor to get whatever test that showed she had breast cancer, chest cancer, tumors in her lymphnoids and her liver.

    She chose more natural healing to begin with in a clinic in TJ Mexico before having to do two rounds of regular chemotherapy. And even when she had had a doctor do a mammogram, he missed the obvious tumour on her breast and said it was just b/c she was breastfeeding. Worse, her cancer is the kind that was hormone fed by pregnancy hormones, and a high estrogen birth control from a family doctor more worried about her becoming pregnant than having cancer.

    On the upside my friend is stable and has fought off the cancer for two years through various treatments, all which have helped including vitamin treatments from her naturopath, a specific diet, and chemo that was natural and initially 15 than 30 percent of what most chemo is as High chemo amounts can be as damaging as cancer as I’m sure you well know. She is currently has had the lymphnod cancer removed and the tumors in her liver are dying and are stable in other places. So all in all for someone with her disgnosis, she is doing and feeling well.

    I wanted to share this with you so even though you know Kate’s death was unfair and caused you a lot of pain, there is hope for future cancer victims. More and more, I read about treatments that are much less damaging than chemo and radiation, and will help treat cancer in the future. It is never fair that anyone at any age has cancer but it’s especially tough when that person is your own age. And what I fear the most, is losing one of my BFF’s, as you lost your cousin. I cried when her hair fell out from the chemo and especially when times weren’t going so well for her. Her son is 3 now and she and her husband just want her to have as much time with him as possible. She has gone from a size 6 or 4 to a 00 but is still beautiful and with being stable has been able to put on a bit of much needed weight and to relax her diet with treats and times of eating normal.

    But I wanted to you know that in some cases there is hope and prayer for friends, loved ones, and yourself when dealing with a loved ones sickness or death. Prayer is a powerful thing. The answer is not always yes or as immediate as we would like, or received in the way would like, but it helps and if it can help unburden you from your anger and hurt from Kate’s death it’s somwtging Ieould suggest. Like being able to share your true feelings and hurt without judgement. For me dealing with my own health issues and my friends cancer, prayer has been what keeps me feeling overall stressed and worried. Death is never easy and I share that experience with you in my own way but there is hope for others like Kate and healing that can occur despite her tragic loss. And as you seem to indicate in this piece, in Heaven Kate is much happier and without pain or sickness.

    I’m also glad her passing gave you a new perception and helped you grow despite losing someone you were close with.
    Keep fighting and keep learning, you seem to be in a better place now and I wish the best for you.

    (Sorry for the lengthy comment).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I want to genuinely thank you for taking your time to read this post and for your gracious comment. Thank you for sharing about your friend. I really pray that all goes well with her. I can’t imagine how hard it is – what she’s been through, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. She truly is a victor and I look up to her with so much awe. I really pray for her well being. May she continue to be a victor in life.

      Yes, I really do believe in prayers. That whole month (it was already at its worst when we found out about her condition), there was nothing for us to do but pray for her and show her how much we love her.

      I really can’t thank you enough for this, Mandi.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve taken the most important first step…writing!

    I’ve always found writing to be incredibly cathartic and a way to sort my thoughts effectively. It sounds like you’ve had quite a journey and that it deserves to be chronicled (when you are ready).

    All the best,
    Zen

    Liked by 1 person

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